Even these days, after 18 months of Covid and online meetings, we still donβt give it the credit itβs due.
I know this because I met Jamie on Tinder and when people ask how we met, there is still a part of me that cringes before I answer. Itβs strange because Iβm actually quite proud of the fact we met online, yet there is a little voice inside that thinks I am about to be judged.
Would it surprise you if I told you that online dating actually began 21 years ago? I know, how to feel old right? Match.com was the very first dating site and it quite literally revolutionised the way we socially date.
So why, 21 years later is online dating still not socially acceptable?
I should point out that this is all based on my own opinions and the feedback I get from clients. There is no concrete proof behind my statements other than the feelings of those I know.
Do you think online dating socially acceptable? Here are four reasons why I think it isn't...β
1 - Mental trauma
Whilst online dating should be fun, the βswipe left or rightβ culture can leave some singletons feeling dejected and rejected. Itβs too easy to dismiss someone without really getting to know or understand them.
The good news is, not all sites are like this. For many, this is an easy way to date and to be fair, if youβre not looking for anything too serious, itβs probably one of the most fun ways to meet someone. However, if itβs not for you, there are a huge number of alternatives out there from dating apps that focus on professionals or the more mature or just have a more serious feel to them.
Donβt let this βquick and easyβ way of dating put you off. There are lots of alternatives and great ones at that!
2 β Itβs seen as a little desperate
This one is ridiculous. It is so hard these days to meet someone, especially with everything thatβs happened recently. Itβs not that easy to pop out to the pub. Covid aside, everyoneβs circumstances are different. Many of us are busy professionals who just donβt have time to socialise, many are single parents and itβs just not that easy to get out and there are a million other reasons why someone may find it more difficult to meet someone in a more traditional way. Online dating has become a lifeline for them.
Speaking of traditional dating, check out my in-person singles nights
3 β Itβs a breeding ground for affairs
Now this one is relevant. There have been many occasions when a cheating spouse has been caught out and this doesnβt give online dating great publicity but hey, thatβs the minority, not the majority. Thereβs always someone who ruins it for the rest of us and to be fair, if online dating didnβt exist, they would probably cheat anyway. Letβs face it, affairs have been around longer than online dating sites.
4 β Faking it
Ok, I canβt argue with this one. It is easy to create a fake profile online. Itβs easy to lie about who you are, you can even use someone elseβs photo. I canβt guarantee you that this wonβt happen but what I will say is that there is no benefit to it. Once you meet, the truth will out so it shouldnβt waste too much of your time.
The great thing about modern technology is that you donβt even have to meet to find out if someone is who they say they are. You just have to video call or look them up on social media.
So, why should you be proud of online dating?
Well, firstly youβre putting yourself out there and that takes some guts. It shows that youβre brave, youβre strong and youβre ready to share your time with someone who is worthy. Go you!
There are so many success stories out there, including my own. Do some research. If you look for the positives, youβll find them.
Secondly, your friends are doing it too. Donβt let them kid you. The chances are, they were online dating way before you were. Thereβs a big denial culture and actually, we need to shout loud and proud if ever we are going to get rid of this stigma.
The truth is online dating will never be socially acceptable to everyone but itβs not alone. There are many stigmas around that will never fully change but as the poet John Lydgate once said, βYou can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the timeβ.
My advice? Just go for it!
Iβd love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this. Feel free to drop a comment on my blog or book a free consultation to talk all things dating!