Success! You’ve met someone online and now you’re preparing to meet them in person for your first date.
I bet you’re feeling just a tad nervous. In fact, I bet your mind is swirling with different scenarios from ‘what if they don’t look like their profile picture?’ to ‘when do you think we’ll get married?’ Admit it, we’re all a bit Bridget now and again!
Just relax. It’s an exciting time and you’ve already done the hard work. You’ve probably been talking online for a while and it’s the right time to take the next step and head out for your first date.
But whilst it is very exciting, sometimes the nerves can get to us. So, take a deep breath and read my top tips on what not to do on a first date.
My top tips on what not to do on a first date
1 – Don’t get too drunk
I feel the need to state this first because the truth is, when we’re nervous, we are far more likely to knock back the alcohol quicker than Jack Sparrow on a Caribbean Island with nothing but a bottle of rum.
Take it easy. Drink water with or between your alcoholic beverages and slow it down. Not only is getting sloshed not a great look but it also makes you vulnerable. Remember, this is a first date, and you are yet to know what this person is all about.
2 – Don’t forget about hygiene
Now you may think this is an obvious one but when you’re nervous, you sweat. Or in the case of the ladies, you perspire.
Whatever you want to call it, there is nothing more unattractive to a date than the stench of someone’s armpits so bring along the deodorant just in case.
It also wouldn’t hurt to have a packet of Tic Tacs in your pocket. Fresh breath is always welcome.
3 – Don’t talk politics, religion and any other controversial topic
You may be quite opinionated and that’s a good thing but on a first date, it may not be so well received. Getting into a heated debate at the start of a relationship doesn’t bode well for a fruitful future. (Unless that kind of thing floats your boat, in which case, crack on).
4 – Don’t talk about yourself all night
Urgh, have you ever been sat in a one-sided conversation? It’s not great, is it? In fact, it’s frustrating and extremely self-absorbed.
The problem is, half the time, we don’t know we are doing it so for this one, you are going to have to reign yourself in when you need to.
You’re on a first date and it’s a chance to get to know each other. If you get halfway through the date and realise you’ve learned nothing about the other person, the chances are, you’ve talked too much.
5 – Don’t let it be one sided
Don’t be afraid to prepare in advance. Have a list of questions you want to ask at the ready. I don’t mean bombard them, just subtly bring questions into the conversation.
By doing this, you achieve three things. You’ll:
- get to know more about them
- give them a chance to speak about themselves
- make them feel as though you are really interested (which you are)
6 – Don’t mention marriage, children or the future in general
A first date is not the time to start planning your wedding, Miss Jones. It’s about having fun and slowly getting to know someone. If you start talking about what you’re looking for in the future, you could very well send them running.
You actually don’t need to know what they feel about these subjects. There is plenty of time to get the answers to those burning questions. For a start, they may not know what they want the future to look like right now so chill out or you’ll have them running for the hills.
7 – Don’t talk about your ex
Seriously. Why would you? But seriously, people do. A lot! There is nothing worse than hearing about your past tormented relationships. That’s not me being unsympathetic, we’ve all been there, you just don’t need to divulge all the gory details on a first date.
Leave something for the next one at least.
Talking about your ex will either make them think that you’re comparing them or wonder what you’ll be saying about them. No good can come of it so don’t do it.
8 – Don’t be cheap
We live in an equal opportunities world so there is no reason you can’t and shouldn’t offer to pick up the bill, or at least go Dutch (although maybe wait for them to suggest that).
Whatever you do, don’t go on a first date expecting the other person to pay. They may want to and by all means let them but at least put up a little fight.
You're all set!
There you have it. My top tips to what not to do on a first date. You’re all set.