Success! Youβve met someone online and now youβre preparing to meet them in person for your first date.
I bet youβre feeling just a tad nervous. In fact, I bet your mind is swirling with different scenarios from βwhat if they donβt look like their profile picture?β to βwhen do you think weβll get married?β Admit it, weβre all a bit Bridget now and again!
Just relax. Itβs an exciting time and youβve already done the hard work. Youβve probably been talking online for a while and itβs the right time to take the next step and head out for your first date.
But whilst it is very exciting, sometimes the nerves can get to us. So, take a deep breath and read my top tips on what not to do on a first date.
My top tips on what not to do on a first date
1 β Donβt get too drunk
I feel the need to state this first because the truth is, when weβre nervous, we are far more likely to knock back the alcohol quicker than Jack Sparrow on a Caribbean Island with nothing but a bottle of rum.
Take it easy. Drink water with or between your alcoholic beverages and slow it down. Not only is getting sloshed not a great look but it also makes you vulnerable. Remember, this is a first date, and you are yet to know what this person is all about.
2 β Donβt forget about hygiene
Now you may think this is an obvious one but when youβre nervous, you sweat. Or in the case of the ladies, you perspire.
Whatever you want to call it, there is nothing more unattractive to a date than the stench of someoneβs armpits so bring along the deodorant just in case.
It also wouldnβt hurt to have a packet of Tic Tacs in your pocket. Fresh breath is always welcome.
3 β Donβt talk politics, religion and any other controversial topic
You may be quite opinionated and thatβs a good thing but on a first date, it may not be so well received. Getting into a heated debate at the start of a relationship doesnβt bode well for a fruitful future. (Unless that kind of thing floats your boat, in which case, crack on).
4 β Donβt talk about yourself all night
Urgh, have you ever been sat in a one-sided conversation? Itβs not great, is it? In fact, itβs frustrating and extremely self-absorbed.
The problem is, half the time, we donβt know we are doing it so for this one, you are going to have to reign yourself in when you need to.
Youβre on a first date and itβs a chance to get to know each other. If you get halfway through the date and realise youβve learned nothing about the other person, the chances are, youβve talked too much.
5 β Donβt let it be one sided
Donβt be afraid to prepare in advance. Have a list of questions you want to ask at the ready. I donβt mean bombard them, just subtly bring questions into the conversation.
By doing this, you achieve three things. You’ll:
- get to know more about them
- give them a chance to speak about themselves
- make them feel as though you are really interested (which you are)
6 β Donβt mention marriage, children or the future in general
A first date is not the time to start planning your wedding, Miss Jones. Itβs about having fun and slowly getting to know someone. If you start talking about what youβre looking for in the future, you could very well send them running.
You actually donβt need to know what they feel about these subjects. There is plenty of time to get the answers to those burning questions. For a start, they may not know what they want the future to look like right now so chill out or youβll have them running for the hills.
7 β Donβt talk about your ex
Seriously. Why would you? But seriously, people do. A lot! There is nothing worse than hearing about your past tormented relationships. Thatβs not me being unsympathetic, weβve all been there, you just donβt need to divulge all the gory details on a first date.
Leave something for the next one at least.
Talking about your ex will either make them think that youβre comparing them or wonder what youβll be saying about them. No good can come of it so donβt do it.
8 β Donβt be cheap
We live in an equal opportunities world so there is no reason you canβt and shouldn’t offer to pick up the bill, or at least go Dutch (although maybe wait for them to suggest that).
Whatever you do, donβt go on a first date expecting the other person to pay. They may want to and by all means let them but at least put up a little fight.
You're all set!
There you have it. My top tips to what not to do on a first date. Youβre all set.
Enjoy! π